You aren't sorry yet
by FearandLoathingXIX
Summary: After the destruction of HOME Rikku steals Auron's sake and gets herself totally, helplessly and unglamorously drunk. Auron happens to be the one to discover her, and ends up being the one to care for and worry about her.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one of what will probably be three or four, becuase I like this take on the characters and, yunno, why not?

Loads of people have 'done' Rikku questioning or messing about with the sake jug, and after being 'inspired' by a poor friend of mine at a party I thought I'd do nasty, gritty drunk. The kind that needs looking after...and if it's Auron the gods chose to do so, well, I'm not complaining ;)

Thanks to Tari for the beta once more.

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Auron had been worrying for her ever since his sake had gone 'missing.' In fact, he'd finally accepted that he would worry about Rikku if she was out of sight for too long… The same also applying for Yuna of course, and to a certain extent Tidus; but they were more in the range of concern, rather than worry. He was bound to protect the couple by duty and his promises to Jecht and Braska, but fretting over the young Al-Bhed was born entirely out of his own sentiments. It was because of her age, he reasoned; she really was too young to be a guardian in all due respect... Nevertheless he'd allowed it, and would agonise that something irreversible would happen to her. One qualm was that if 'something' did happen to her, he would be responsible because he'd let her join the pilgrimage.

"Where is Rikku?" he announced calmly from the deck of Cid's airship. A somber mood hung in the air after the destruction of Home earlier that day; she'd disappeared shortly afterwards, incidentally about the same time his sake (he should be more watchful for thieves' fingers) and neither had been seen for about three hours.

"She went below deck," Lulu remarked calmly, "no one has seen her since." Auron did not want to be the person who had to look for her, but it seemed that none of the other guardians were willing, for they more focused on Yuna. However, he knew that Seymour still clung to the notion of wedding the young Summoner and was, therefore, unlikely to harm her… She was physically safe for the time being. Whereas he did not know where Rikku was - or if she was out of harm's way - which was now nagging at his subconscious.

"Fine," he carped gruffly, "I won't be long." He turned to storm irately down the corridor and began to systematically knock all the doors open in search for her. He eventually discovered a sad little pile of fifteen-year-old guardian in one of the cabins, along with a significantly drained jug of sake and the broken shards of what appeared to be a glass.

"Rikku?" he enquired sternly as some turbulence caused the ship to shift and he was pushed awkwardly through the door. "_Rikku?"_ A slight heaving of her coiled limbs indicated that she was _alive _at the very least.

The notion that that she had or would cut herself on the broken glass bolted through his mind, so he stepped forwards to kick some of the larger shards aside, and noticed a shiver running through her body that seemed to acknowledge his presence.

"Rikku, can you hear me?" he repeated for what felt like an eternity until she gave a slight nod before collapsing even farther forwards. She was luckily saved from having her face cut to shreds by a strong arm that lashed out to stop her. Auron realised as her weight slumped against him that she was very, _very _drunk… Which was what he got for keeping such strong alcohol 'carelessly' on his person. She either didn't want to, or was simply unable to reply to any of his questions, so Auron heaved a frustrated sigh. The young girl could not even look at him through her intoxication.

"Rikku, you need to go to bed: stand up," he demanded in a way that had absolutely no effect on her because she was completely devoid to any form of intimidation… Or any_thing_ for that matter. With another sigh, Auron moved closer and took the girl into his arms; but although he could easily lift her, he worried that she would hurt her neck, being unable to hold herself to any sort of rigidity. Luckily he managed to shift her head to rest in the crook of his neck as he stood with what felt like a rag doll, treading carefully over the broken glass to carry Rikku out of the door.

As he stepped into the light, Auron detected her making a quiet whining noise and she flinched convulsively in his hold.

"Who's there?" she mumbled wanly as Auron planned to go up to the bridge and present this wreck to the others, hoping that _someone _might know what to do with her. He didn't reply to her question on the basis of it being pointless; what in Spira did it matter who found her?

"I'm taking you to the others," he stated stiffly as she shuddered in a way that he really hoped wouldn't result in her vomiting.

"Can… we… bathroom?" She groaned coherently enough for the older guardian to catch the crucial words and be keen to keep vomit _off _ofhis robe. Entering into a small cell-like room he came across in the search for her, Auron sat Rikku down on the floor as gently as he could manage, trying to keep her facing away from him as she heaved a steadying breath… Perhaps, he hopes, she won't be sick…

All of a sudden, the young guardian's skinny fingers shot up and forced themselves down her throat, rewarding her with an unhealthy retch before Auron can fiercely snatch for her hand to stop this.

"Don't," he snapped in a shocked state. To his surprise, she pulled away and repeated the action, finally acquiring the desired effect into a fortunately placed bin (placed by _him_, he might add.) He wanted to tell her to stop again but knew that he was too late: her pained hacks and heaving causing him to shudder. Eventually, not knowing what else to do, he reached out to rest a hand on her back, instinctively circling it against her trembling frame as a large amount of his sake made a second appearance.

"I'm… sorry…" she whimpered weakly with tears in her eyes and Auron merely shook his head.

"You aren't sorry yet," he replied forebodingly as she gagged again, followed by a heavy sob an onslaught of tears tumbling down her wan face.

"They're all…" She wept raggedly, scrubbing a hand across her burning eyes and grinding the moisture into her skin. "It's all…" Another hiccup accompanied by a sigh from the older guardian. "Everything's… _gone_." She spat wretchedly and began to sob again. "All…my…"

Auron attempted to reply but realised it was a useless endeavour with her in this state. So when her retching became dry, becoming therefore merely discomforting and painful, he pulled her back to lean against his chest as if he were cradling a child. Auron recalled Tidus once returning home in a similar state to this when they were still in Zanarkand; the foolish boy had one too many post-match drinks after a blitzball match and paid very severely for it… Not to mention the extreme hangover that he suffered in the aftermath. Unfortunately, Auron cannot remember how in Spira he dealt with him, but eventually decided on another attempt at handing Rikku over to the other guardians. He balled her up in his arms and moved gingerly back into the corridor. However, upon realising that her father was in the bridge, he could not bring himself to it; it was not his place to present a daughter to her father in this state… That will be her decision.

Reluctantly, he turned around with the poor girl in his hold and found a room with a cot in it. Setting Rikku down as well as he could manage; Auron turned the Al-Bhed on her side (just in case) and pulled the soft coverlets to her chin. However, the next problem was that she wouldn't close her eyes to sleep: the red-rimmed spirals fixed open as her pupils writhed rather disturbingly.

"_Sleep_, Rikku," demanded Auron levelly, but she appeared to shake her head.

"Spinning," she replies semi-consciously, then for no apparent reason burst into tears again. Auron pressed a hand over his face exasperatedly as the Al-Bhed sobbed bitter tears that rolled down her face and darkened the pillow that she rested against.

"Shh, stop crying." He found himself hushing in a low tone as she curled up and the constricting of her daunting eyes disappeared from his view, replaced by her hands as she whimpered in a pitiable way. He shifted to sit next to her on the bed and allowed her to crawl over and rest against him. When she calmed slightly, he went to move away, but the weeping started up once more. He sighed yet again and lifted her to lie in his lap, his hand trailing across her hair, which was still clean and soft. Regardless of whether he thought it would help her or himself, Auron drew his fingers soothingly through her fringe to draw it off her face, and she shivered into him as he pulled the blanket further across her sorry frame.

"_Silly girl,"_ he murmured softly as her breathing gradually settled and he assumed she had fallen asleep… That is until the half-closed door was raucously flung open.

"Auron, you in here?!" Tidus barked loudly before a vicious snarl of "**Quiet!!**" silenced him. However, he still managed to wake the slumbering girl, who groaned feebly until the older guardian ran his calloused, and yet surprisingly soothing hand along her upper arm, effectively warming her back to sleep.

"Is that _Rikku_?" Tidus enquired in a false whisper as Auron shot him a scathing glare.

"Who do you think it is?" He retorted venomously, angered that after he finally managed to get Rikku asleep, Tidus had to barge in so noisily… He was also angry to be caught in such an exposed and somewhat vulnerable state.

"What's wrong with her?" the boy pried nosily, and Auron signalled that the lights be switched off.

Once the room was dimmed he replied: "She's drunk," much to Tidus' astonishment.

"Drunk?" He gawped at the fitfully sleeping girl and Auron rolled his remaining eye.

"Very drunk," he added tiredly… Perhaps all of the stress was beginning to take a toll on him.

"But… how?" Tidus questioned, still in shock.

"Sake," Auron replied curtly, "Mine." Tidus stared at Rikku for a while longer and then sat down next to his mentor, bemused.

"I didn't realise she was so upset," he remarked quietly as his eyes adjusted to the faint light, Rikku drifting in and out of a confused slumber. The Legendary Guardian would have probably remained there all night, had Tidus not eventually volunteered to take over. He felt guilty for Auron having to look after Rikku so diligently in her vulnerable state.

"She's asleep, right? So what's the problem?" he declared optimistically as for some reason, the older guardian was reluctant to budge. Auron could easily name several things that might go wrong if the boy wasn't careful enough, which was why he was reluctant to leave Rikku with him even if only for a few hours.

"Tell the others," he announced quietly as he shifted her slightly to ease the discomfort of her shoulder blade digging into his leg. "Maybe they will have a better solution." She sighed softly in her broken sleep and Auron craned his head slightly to check if she had woken up, but luckily she was still unconscious, remaining so as Tidus slipped out to dash up to the bridge.

"_Guys!_" He whispered at first, and then realised he didn't need to anymore. **"GUYS!"** He hollered urgently and practically half the cabin crew then turned to look at him expectantly.

"Uh…" He gawped as he stumbled backwards. "Guardian stuff, guys: outside maybe?" Lulu and Wakka filed out while Kimahri remained; he wasn't really tailored to handle those sorts of situations anyway.

"What is it?" Lulu enquired coolly as Tidus wondered what words would best phrase the circumstances.

"It's Rikku," he mumbled awkwardly. "She's, well, in a bad way… Auron sent me to get you because…"

"Eh? What do ya mean 'bad way'?" Wakka demanded; he was still unhappy with the girl's race, but that didn't affect his concern for her.

"Well, you know Auron 'lost' his sake?" Wakka suddenly scoffed disdainfully. If Rikku was drunk, then that was all her own doing.

However Lulu sighed with pity for the young girl. "Where is she?" she enquired tactfully, "Did you leave her alone?" Tidus immediately shook his head.

"Nope, Auron's still with her," he answered self-assuredly. "He was looking after her." Lulu raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"Really? Well where are _they_, then?" she questioned dryly and Tidus obediently pointed down the corridor to the closed door.

"Keep your voice down, she's sleeping," he stated bluntly as Lulu made her way over to the room in question and tentatively opened the door. Wakka remained behind to carp irately to Tidus about how irresponsible it is to drink if you're a guardian… Tidus pointed out that it was Auron's alcohol she stole, which silenced him for a while.

"Sir Auron?" Lulu called out quietly and was greeted with a low cough, directing her gaze to the girl curled up in his lap, frowning in her sleep. "How is she?" she continued and Auron simply shrugged.

"Sleeping." The black mage crept closer to study the odd sight. "Her clothes will need changing," he stated adamantly as he gently slid Rikku away from his muscular frame and made room for Lulu to kneel down next to her, propping a pillow under the head. Lulu hushed her softly when the girl half-awoke.

"Auron?" she mumbled despondently as Lulu turned to find Auron had already vanished.

"Hush, go back to sleep," she told her soothingly and Rikku seemed to obey. Outside, Auron straightened a knot in his neck and settled resolutely by the door.

"Uh, Sir Auron? Is Rikku okay?" Wakka asked gingerly: the fact that the legendary guardian seemed so concerned was enough to worry the Yevonite.

"Not really," he retorted blankly, "Only time will better her; there is nothing we can do." He sighed inwardly, wishing that there was something he _could_ do… Anything to lessen his guilt - it was his sake after all - and worry for the helpless guardian.

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Not to sound like a crazy girl, but the whole releationship of people looking after others at _that _stage of being drunk kinda facinates me. Because it can be a person you don't know very well, but people stay and 'look after' them all night just out of this instinct that they get.

Crazy girl says review or she will start theological debates about instinct and the in-built compulsion to protect the pack ;)


	2. Chapter 2

Ok _wow, _how long has it been?

...sorry 'bout that O.o I was cleaning out my fic folder and found this nearly-finished part of the two-part, and thought that the least I could do was sweep away the dust and _finish _the damn thing.

So I expect most people who read this the first time round don't remember a goddam thing, so feel free to re-read it :P

Or if you are new to this, :D enjoy.

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Although Rikku barely slept that night, she wasn't exactly awake either, and had no memory of being in the bedroom other than the unpleasant jitter of being taken there. Apart from one occasion when she woke up searching for someone…_anyone_, she was terrified of being there alone. However despite finding another person near to her she somehow couldn't shake a feeling of abandonment – there was someone _meant _to be there, and she was sure that person wasn't Lulu.

"Just go back to sleep." The black mage hushed as Rikku began to babble and flinch in her fatigue, then tried to sit upright to convince herself that she was safe, in an airship… Not trapped back in her room at Home whilst it burnt to the ground.

"But I…" She mumbled weakly as Lulu's cool hands pressed down on her shoulders and kept her from moving, forcing her to be still and to sleep…and the nightmares didn't help much.

The early hours of the morning lit up the small cabin and stung her bitter eyes awake, and unable to sleep any longer she got shakily to her feet and walked outside to find some fresh air. Lulu had fallen asleep soon after she'd settled for good, and was now so soundly unconscious that she did not so much as stir when Rikku attempted to sneak out and find a bathroom to brush her teeth in. However, not two steps out of the door a low voice called out to the wandering Al-Bhed.

"Are you going somewhere?" The Guardian on watch announced and she froze in her tracks, for two reasons, one: because she knew she'd been caught, and two: because she suddenly realized that if she took another step she was going to be sick - the guardian's voice had _literally_ turned her stomach.

"Uh…bathroom?" She mumbled weakly without turning around, and heard a sigh from the watchman as he stepped away from the wall.

"This way." Auron stated uninterestedly as he strode ahead, and as she meekly followed Rikku tried to recount her distorted memories of the night- she recalled the glass breaking…or more accurately _breaking the glass _when Auron's sake ran out (she needed to apologize for that), along with some rather vivid recollections of being violently sick. It was amongst these memories and while walking the same corridors that she suddenly remembered being held and carried around by the someone who came across her sorry state last night – who was all rough palms and heavy hands and didn't know _quite_ how to hold her: who despite having every right to simply leave _didn't_, which was when Rikku realized with a stab of guilt that it _was_ actually Auron who'd found and remained with her.

She felt even worse at this and had to stop walking all of a sudden, curling up until her nausea faded, which Auron noticed and fell back to the girl's side; not saying anything but waiting patiently for her to recover, so with a grimace she continued down the hall.

"In here." He stated impartially and opened the door into a small bathroom, but when she ran over to stagger over the sink he stepped in with a jolt of anxiety. Rikku clutched at ragged breaths to battle her queasiness, and then heard Auron's footsteps behind her. He placed a hand on her back like he did the night before, and ran his palm across it soothingly as she swallowed the bitter taste on her mouth.

"…Sorry." She chocked as she willed tears away from her eyes, not meaning to cry but _everything seemed to be going wrong and she felt horrible and Auron was bound to be mad at her and so would everyone else and this was Yuna and Tidus's story not hers so why was she doing stupid stuff like this but he was being so nice which just made it worse because she'd have to apologize even more when she…_

"Stop apologizing." He replied coolly as she hiccupped and pressed her palm over her mouth to stop herself retching, thankful for the comfort but still sick with guilt for being such an idiot.

"Okay…I'm fine." She mumbled as he held something forwards to her: a container of water.

"Drink it." He stated more than he actually _asked_, but Rikku was willing to obey for two reasons – one: her mouth was drier than the bikanel desert, and two: Auron did not seem to be in a mood to take no for an answer. So she swallowed a mouthful of the bitter tasting liquid and then feebly requested to be left alone, reluctantly obliged by Auron, as the girl _was _entitled to some privacy. However, he remained close to the door on the other side and listened intently as she ran the taps to wash her hands and face, both being in a rather sickly state.

Rikku stared at herself in the mirror and twisted the taps until they stuck, trying to make as much noise as possible so Auron couldn't hear her whimpers and sobs while her stomach did its very best to redecorate the basin.

_'Why were you so stupid!?' _She asked her reflection, nearly recoiling at how awful she looked – pale, almost green in fact, with dark circles under her eyes and chapped lips; she probably bore more resemblance to an unsent than a real person. Suddenly she couldn't bear to look at herself any longer, but instead of turning away impulsively raised a fist and slammed it into the glass of the mirror, screw luck, she probably deserved it for acting like such a cretin.

She _had_ only hoped to crack it, having assumed that it was a flat plane bolted to the wall, but unfortunately the thing was in fact the door of a cabinet and Rikku's hand plunged straight through it, burying splinters of glass in her fist as she screamed with fright… the pain hitting a moment later as a crippling afterthought.

_'Now that was stupid!' _She told herself as a worrying amount of blood began to pour from the numerous cuts, and she wrenched her wounded fist away just as the door flew open with a concerned guardian on the other side. Auron cursed himself for leaving Rikku alone the moment he heard the scream, let alone as he forced in the door and saw blood running down her arm – she was too young to be unsupervised…and Yevon he sounded like an old man when he thought like that.

"Auron! I…!" She stuttered pitifully while trying to move her hand, which caused shards of glass still lodged between her knuckles to sear and she cried freely, no longer worried about anyone seeing.

"I thought…it was…flat…I didn't mean to…_oww_," was her explanation as he cast a quick look first towards her hand, and then the broken mirror. Eventually deciding _against_ a reprimand for the girl while she was still injured and probably losing a fair amount of blood, Auron stepped forwards and gripped her wrist tightly, then forced it under the running tap and washed away enough blood to see the parts still embedded in her fist.

Instead of trying to remove the shards with his fingers and probably end up hurting her, he brought the lacerations up to his mouth and as gently as he could sucked out the splinters; turning his head aside to spit them into the sink as if it were something he did everyday, while trying to ignore the confused looks Rikku was giving him – the fact that the Legendary Guardian had _anything _of hers in his mouth was an anomaly in itself: he wouldn't even eat her _cooking_.

It was a pretty weird sight, she had to admit that, and Auron was beginning to look a bit like a vampire with her blood all around his mouth and a glare to kill. But she wasn't in any sort of situation to comment upon it and stood there lamely, crying her eyes out and squeaking whenever he flexed her knuckles - to check for fragments of glass obviously as he wasn't a _complete _sadist. He threaded his fingers through hers to be able to bend them a little more and for a short moment Rikku wanted him to do it _without _her being hurt as an incentive, although it was a completely insane thought of course – he was _Auron _for Zaon's sake!

"What do you feel?" he asked while flexing her knuckles another time, and although she could probably sob for _hours _about her _'feelings'_, that wasn't what he was after.

"It hurts." Rikku whimpered pathetically, sure she'd sported all sorts of injuries in her time, most of which were nastier than this little scratch, but it was just _everything._

"I know," he softly replied to her surprise, was that _empathy_ coming from the lips of the Legendary Guardian? "Sharp or dull?" after a few seconds she realized he meant the pain.

"Uh…no more glass I think," she answered as he ran her hand under the water one more time, once again turning it a charming crimson.

"Don't do that again." He told her as he released the iron clamp he had on her wrist and wiped his own mouth, then rinsed the palm under the tap, where she still held her weeping knuckles.

"Yessir," she mumbled brokenly, still holding out her fist in the sink like a stuck puppet. Auron carefully took her hand again and tentatively rubbed his thumb over the cuts, letting his other fingers curl over hers as he drew her hand back and toweled it dry on his loose sleeve – it was red after all, so the blood didn't show.

He bunched up a part of the scarlet material and pressed it over her hand then clamped his on top, hoping to staunch the blood flow slightly until he could find a potion or healer. This arrangement meant that the easiest way for Rikku to walk without twisting her arm or tripping Auron up was more or less in the crook of his arm, into which she slotted into rather nicely and managed to shuffle down the corridor without bursting into tears _or _being sick. Quite an achievement considering recent events.

"Auron…?" She asked in almost a whisper as he tightened his arm around her, probably because his arm was getting tired of reaching across to hold her bleeding fist.

"Yes, Rikku?" he replied flatly while wondering what the chances were of anyone on board this airship was a healer, or if he was going to have to embarrass them both by attempting some more second-rate first aid once they reached some medical supplies.

"I'm sor…uh, thank you." She said quietly, and the Guardian's hand squeezed over hers more than was necessary to stop any blood flow.

* * *

Ta-da :P

Now I finally have this off my conscience XD Hope any readers enjoyed it and reviews would be a thoughtful closing note.


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